Bring us back -;

she's dancing my pain away

Friday, 15 June 2007 5:19 am

i always ask myself this qn whenever darling wan go out with frens instead of me. Am i her NUMBER ONE ? she told me she wan go cruise with the sailors and she wan me go and i told her i haf no money at all and my mother wont pay for me cos it's too ex for wad she think and she will wan me pay for myself, i told my darling i cant go and i asked her this
"Darling, if i really cant go are u still going with ur frens?" i asked her alot of times and her answer is still YES COS I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WANTING TO GO CRUISE. then i told her we nxt time den go cruise, only two of us she said DON WANT 2 PERSON NOT FUN. From then i keep thinking, if she really put me as NUMBER ONE in her heart or not. when it's the day of the cruise it's the day when i just returned to Singapore after Volvo Youth Worlds and trials for SEA games. and i wan to spend alot of time with her alone after i come back to make up the loss of time i was away she STILL WAN GO CRUISE with her FRIENDS !!!! haiz. i m so sad. when i am going away, she wan to accompany me like hell. BUT when i m back, she wants to go cruise with her FRIENDS. this shows how IMPORTANT am I to her. haiz. i wan accompany her and she don wan. SHE INSISTS on GOING CRUISE. CRUISE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. THE TIME SPEND TOGETHER WILL NOT BE ALWAYS THERE. haiz. since she wan to go so badly. then she go. and when i wan spend time with her she's not there. sighs. I REALLY WONDER WHY HER FRIENDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME. I CANT SLEEP NOW. HAIZ. TOTALLY SAD. WHEN WILL I BE HER NUMBER ONE ? WHEN???? WHEN ???? WHEN??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I WONDER.. ENJOYMENT OVER BOYFRIEND. FRIENDS OVER BOYFRIEND. WHEN WILL SHE PERMANANETLY PUT ME AS NUMBER ONE WITHOUT HER FRIENDS IN THE WAY WHEN ????????? I REALLY WONDER. SHE SAYS SHE WILL WORK HARD AND SAVE TO LET ME GO. BUT I SAID IF REALLY REALLY REALLY I CANT GO ? HOW ? WILL SHE GO..? HER ANSWER IS STILL YES. I WILL STILL GO BECAUSE I M DYING TO GO CRUISE. HAIS. I....... I GOT NOTHING TO SAY

-; thankyou for loving me