Bring us back -;

she's dancing my pain away

Friday, 15 June 2007 10:26 am

After reading the post that you post last night, now, I really dont now what to do. sighs. No one can ever be my number one except my family members. This is how important they are to me. I know in your heart, GIRLFRIEND is always your number one. Are they so important to u that your family members also can't beat them? Maybe your thinking is different from me.

Why can't you allow me to go cruise with the sailors? Why can't u trust me? I think the reason you don't really allow me to go with them, is that you are afraid that i played too much with them and get very close to them. This shows that you are still easily JEALOUS! You say that you will change and not be so sensitive over all these things, but i dont see much difference. sighs. I know truely that you want to spend time with me after you come back from your SEA games selection. I know that the time we spent together are very little. You are always away for your trainings and competition at overseas. I know whatever I say to you, really hurt u alot. I am sorry.

You say that you want to go cruise with me only. If you can go, why can't you go with the sailors as well? I wonder... I said that going cruise with only both of us, is really not fun at all what. It's true. What can we do when there is only the both of us? It will be damm boring la. If u don't understand i really don't know how to explain to you. sighs. I am tired now. I don't why must I go thru' all this.

Everytime, I keep asking myself. If this relationship keeps going on like this, why am I still hanging there? Why am i suffering? Arghz. If these continue, I don't know if i can still hang it there for long. I hope you respect my decision and support me. And not keep asking me not to go and stuffs. sighs. I am really damm stressed now. At home, MUM keeps nagging at me. I can't stand it for long. It's rather irritating.Then now, YOU are like that. woah... relax man! I tell you what happen at home, then you will say. Aiya dont bother what your mum say. Just one ear in then one ear out. Now, she keeps nagging at me la. Can u imagine the life with all the nagging? You can bear with it but not me. I am studying at home and when the moment I hear all the nagging, do you think I still have the mood to study? sighs. This is why I always like to be home as late as possible. And if there is a chance that I can go overseas to study or attachment, I will be the first to go man! Stay out with them, really can make my life more peacefully. I know when you read this post, how will you feel la. whatever~ This is me! I can't change! And mind you, YOU SHOULD LOVE ME FOR WHO AM I!!! and not keep asking me to change for you. is nonsence la. But the things that I promised what I changed, I will do it.

I don't know how are you going to get over all these when you are in germany now. I am supposed to be supporting you, but what am doing? I am just making you feeling like SHIT! Sorry. I don't want to hide anything from you. I am just stating all the facts. sighs. I always have the thinking that I won't be with you forever. My attidue doesn't suit your dream girl at all. So why am i still wasting my time in this relationship? sighs. I really dont noe la. Maybe is only my stupid and childish thinking. Sad to say, I don't the things that I do, are they worth it. Now, the problem dont lies with you. Is me! So please dont blame anything to yourself. Arghz! I am sorry. I hope u can still concentrate in your training. Please train hard! Don't think too much over all these things.

now. i am feeling like shit. i can't study at all. i just have to waste one more day staring at my lappy. sighs. sad. i miss u! please don't blame me for not replying to ur msg. i dont have mood for anything now. sighs. i dont feel like talking to u~ maybe tonight, we also dont talk on the phone. just let everything move on smoothly. sighs. that's all. this is what i want to say.
Re-consider in placing me 1st place in your heart.

-; thankyou for loving me